Sweet Dreams are made of…
Good morning readers, I’m back with an ACTUAL blog, not a shameless self-promotion announcing ‘I’ve just been published’. (Although those are always so fun!) Brace yourselves, but don’t get too comfortable. It could quite possibly lull you off into a sleep before you get to the end of it. Enjoy! And as always, your comments […]
Published in Funny Women Magazine!
Do Ye Fancy a Dance?
I’ve spent the last year living in Prague, with my partner and her two teenage kids. One, an almost 18-year-old girl, was out with her pals the other night and came home an hour later than the time she was told by her mom to be home. I’ve never been a parent, but I found […]
All I Want for Christmas is…
I’m writing to you from Malta this week, where there are over 300 churches on this little sun-kissed island. It certainly gives Ireland a run for its money. The bells are tolling clearly every hour, and as I sit in this shaded garden at dusk, the crickets are also serenading me with their song. There’s something […]
Butter wouldn’t melt…
I had a dream last night that I was churning butter in a giant old-fashioned barrel. I was sleeping next to my girlfriend, in a double bed at my mother’s apartment in Raheny. I say ‘double’ because in Ireland, that is the smallest DOUBLE bed there is. It goes: single, double, queen, king, super-king. It’s […]
Ille-Gay-ly Homosexual – The Finale
It was 1990 and I was almost 19 years old. I had no choice but to agree to give Stacey a squash lesson. I was absolutely shitting myself to be alone with her, fearing that my secret would be revealed. I was petrified to be exposed. There was a balcony above the court where everyone […]
Ille-Gay-ly Homosexual – The saga continues down under…
Ille-Gay-ly Homosexual – Part Three Imagine having spent the guts of 10 years hiding in my own little closet, sheltered by the arms of the catholic church, and now about to break free. My squash game was improving more and more. I was invited to travel with the Irish Senior National Team to Australia for […]
Leftover Salad
Here’s a random piece I wrote around easter time this year. I enjoy David Sedaris very much and have read practically all of his books. He has a genius way of writing about aboslutely anything. This was my first attempt at trying my hand at his style. I didn’t start eating salads until I was […]
I Made It… And I’m only getting started.
There are some of my friends who, upon hearing I was going to be fifty, gasped in disbelief (albeit PRETEND disbelief). Some said ‘oh you don’t look it at all!’ (Liars – unless they mean I look OLDER) Others casually mentioned ‘it’s all down-hill from now!’ (the naiivety!) and some just offered me a drink […]